Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize