well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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