it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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