Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
