He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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