He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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