So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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