What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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