how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
