You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
