she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize