Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
