i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
