He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
