I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
