He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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