I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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