Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
