There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well you can't waste a boner
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
