Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
