i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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