.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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