Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
