haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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