is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
