I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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