I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
