My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize