Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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