yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
