quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
