thus making me awesome and them whores
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
MIDGETS
????
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
