eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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