Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
