Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
