So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
