i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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