How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
