Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your penis caused this!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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