I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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