Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We talked him into tasing himself.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
