I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
