I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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