I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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