Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
