I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
