i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I love you. Go after that dick
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