Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
