Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize