You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
