He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
