I'm laying in your front yard are you home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
