Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ttyl tear gas
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
