i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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