wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
