I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
