is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
