Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
