So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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